Episode 1 "Anne"
Doctor:
-What are you doing?
Buffy:
-Breaking into your office and going trough your private files.
Buffy:
-I don’t want any trouble. I just want to be alone and quiet in a room with a chair and a fireplace and a tea cozy. I don’t even know what a tea cozy, but I want one.
Episode 2 "Dead Man's Party"
Giles:
-Unbelievable. “Do you like my mask? Isn’t it pretty? It raises the dead.” Americans.
Giles:
-Cordelia, it’s me, it’s me.
Cordelia:
-How do we know it’s really you and not Zombie Giles?
Giles:
-Cordelia, do stop being tiresome.
Cordelia:
-It’s him.
Episode 3 "Faith, Hope & Trick"
Willow:
-Ooh, Scott Hope at 11 o’clock. He likes you. He wanted to ask you out last year, but you weren’t ready then. But I think you’re ready now or at least in the state, of pre-readiness to make conversation, or to do that with your mouth that boys like…Oh, I didn’t mean the bad thing with your mouth. I mean that little half-smile thing that you…You’re supposed to stop me when I do that.
Episode 5 "Homecoming"
Buffy to Cordelia:
-Your brain isn’t even connected to your mouth, is it?
Cordelia to Buffy:
-Why is it every time I go somewhere with you, it always ends in violence and terror?
Episode 6 "Band Candy"
Snyder:
-Call me Snyder. Just a last name, like…Barbarino.
Snyder to Oz:
-You’ve got great hair!
Episode 7 "Revelations"
Mrs. Post:
-The fact is, there is talk in the Council that you (Giles) become a bit too…American.
Giles:
-Me?
Buffy:
-Him?
Episode 8 "Lovers Walk"
Xander to Willow:
-Look. We’re just very good friends who like to hang out and can I kiss your earlobe?
Willow:
-No! Well, OK…No!
Buffy:
-You took Willow.
Spike:
-You do me now, you’ll never find the little witch.
Joyce:
-Willow’s a witch?
Buffy:
-And Xander?
Spike:
-Him too.
Joyce:
-Xander’s a witch.
Episode 9 "The Wish"
Cordelia:
-I wish Buffy Summers had never come to Sunnydale.
Episode 10 "Amends"
The First Evil (As Jenny Calendar):
-I’m not a demon, little girl. I am something that you can’t even conceive – The First Evil. Beyond sin, beyond death. I am the thing the darkness fears. You’ll never see me, but I am everywhere. Every being…every thought…every drop of hate.
Buffy:
-All right, I get it. You’re evil. Do we have to chat about it all day?
The First evil:
-You have no idea what you’re dealing with.
Buffy:
-Let me guess. Is it…evil?
Episode 11 "Gingerbread"
Joyce:
-This isn’t our town anymore. It belongs to the monsters and the witches and the slayers.
Snyder to Giles:
-Fight it if you want. Just remember, lift a finger against me, and you’ll have to answer to MOO.
Buffy:
-Answer to MOO? Did that sentence just make some sense that I’m not in on?
Snyder:
-Mothers Opposed to the Occult.
Episode 12 "Helpless"
Buffy to Giles:
-So how do you know if one’s aura’s dirty? Somebody come by with a finger and write ‘wash me’ on it?
Buffy:
-Bite me.
Episode 14 "Bad Girls"
Wesley:
-Remember the 3 key words for any slayer: preparation… preparation… preparation.
Buffy:
-That’s one word 3 times.
Angel:
-Be careful.
Buffy:
-You know me.
Angel:
-I mean it.
Faith:
-Life for slayer is very simple – want…take…have.
Episode 15 "Consequences"
Xander:
-She (Faith) was fighting one of those, uh, apocalypse demon things and I helped her. Gave her a ride home.
Buffy:
-And you guys talked?
Xander:
-Not extensively, no.
Buffy:
-Then why would you…Oh.
Giles:
-Oh!
Willow:
-I don’t need to say “oh”. I got it before. They slept together.
Episode 16 "Doppelgangland"
Buffy:
-Willow, you’re alive!
Willow:
-Aren’t I usually?
Buffy:
-Giles, planning on jumping in with an explanation any time soon?
Giles:
-Well, oh…something…something very strange is happening.
Xander:
-Can you believe the Watcher’s Council let this guy go?
Vampire Willow:
-This a dumb world. In my world there are people in chains, and we can ride them like ponies.
Willow:
-That’s me as a vampire! I’m so evil and skanky. And I think I’m kind of gay.
Episode 18 "Earshot"
Buffy:
-No mouth means no teeth. Unless they have them somewhere else.
Angel:
-I’m a funny guy.
Xander (thinking):
-I think about sex all the time. Sex. Help! 4 x 5 is 30. 5 x 6 is 32. Naked girls. Naked women. Naked Buffy! Oh, stop me!
Buffy to Joyce:
-You had sex with Giles? You had sex with Giles? On the hood of a police car?
Joyce:
-I’ll be downstairs. You feel better.
Buffy:
-Twice?!
Cordelia:
-Hi, Mr. Beach. I was just wondering were you planning on killing a bunch of people tomorrow? Oh, it’s for the yearbook.
Giles:
-Feel up to some training?
Buffy:
-Sure. We can work out after school. You know, if you’re not too busy having sex with my mother.
Episode 20 "The Prom"
Anya to Xander:
-Men are evil. Will you go with me?
Jonathan:
-We’re proud to say that the class of ’99 has the lowest mortality rate of any graduating class in Sunnydale history.
Episode 21 " Graduation day, Pt. 1"
Xander:
-Welcome to the world of romance.
Anya:
-It’s horrible! No wonder I used to get so much work.
Episode 22 " Graduation day, Pt. 2"
Oz:
-Guys, take a moment to deal with this. We survived.
Buffy:
-It was a hell of a battle.
Oz:
-Not the battle. High school.