Episode 1&2 "Bargaining"
Buffy-bot:
-School is where you learn.
Buffy:
-Is this hell?
Episode 3 "After Life"
Buffy:
-How long was I gone?
Episode 4 "Flooded"
Anya:
-Start charging.
Buffy:
-For what?
Anya:
-Slaying vampires. You’re providing a valuable service to the whole community. I say cash in.
Episode 7 "Once more with Feeling"
Buffy:
-Dawn’s in trouble. Must be Tuesday.
Episode 8 "Tabula Rasa"
Willow:
-I’m Willow Rosenberg. Hmm, Willow, funny name!
Buffy (as Joanne):
-I think, I know, why Joanne is a boss. I’m like a superhero or something.
Episode 9 "Smashed"
Buffy:
-How have you been?
Amy:
-Rat. You?
Buffy:
-Dead.
Anya:
-Let’s face it. We’re not gonna find this thing because it doesn’t exist. There’s no such thing as a frost monster who eats diamonds.
Buffy:
-Well, maybe he doesn’t eat them. You know, maybe he just... thinks they’re pretty.
Episode 10 "Wrecked"
Anya to Xander:
-Don’t be ridiculous. Martha Stewart isn’t a demon. She’s a witch.
Xander:
-Please, she... Really?
Anya:
-Of cause. Nobody could do that much decoupage without calling on the powers of darkness.
Episode 15 "As You Were"
Buffy:
-It’s you.
Riley:
-It’s me.
Buffy:
-You’re here.
Riley:
-I know.
Buffy:
-And...were you always this tall?
Sam:
-You’re like Santa Claus or Buddha or something.
Buffy:
-Fat and jolly?
Episode 16 "Hell’s Bells"
Anya:
-I promise to have sex with you...whenever I want...and, uh, uh, pledge to be your friend...your wife and your confidante...and your sex poodle.
Tara:
-Uh, sex poodle?
Anya:
-Yeah. What?
Tara:
-Um, I’m not sure you should say ‘sex poodle’ in your vows.
Episode 21 "Two to Go"
Andrew:
-You saw her. She’s a truck-driving magic mama and we’ve got maybe seconds before Darth Rosenberg grinds everybody into Jawa burgers. And not one of you bunch has the midichlorians to stop her.
Xander:
-You’ve never had any tiny bit of sex, have you?
Buffy:
-I don’t wanna hurt you.
Willow strikes her.
Buffy:
-I say I didn’t want to. Didn’t say I wouldn’t.
Willow:
-Now I get to be the Slayer.
Buffy:
-A killer isn’t a Slayer. Being a slayer means something you can’t conceive of.
Willow:
-Oh, Buffy. You really need to have every square of your ass kicked.
Buffy:
-Than show me what you got and I’ll show you what a Slayer really is.
Willow to Buffy:
-Get off, Superbitch!
Episode 22 "Grave"
Giles:
-Buffy, what’s happened here?
Buffy:
-God. I don’t even know where to start.
Giles:
-Well, Willow’s clearly been abusing the magics.
Buffy:
-She has. She was, and I barely even noticed. Giles, everything’s just been so... Xander left Anya at the altar, and Anya’s a vengeance demon again. Dawn’s a total klepto. Money’s been so tight that I’ve been slinging burgers at the Doublemeat Palace and... and I’ve been sleeping with Spike.
Willow:
-Willow doesn’t live here anymore.